Maxwell was born in a Brooklyn laundromat when a dryer hit the perfect falsetto note and summoned him into existence. From day one, he spoke only in sighs and slow head tilts — a condition doctors called chronic smoothness.
As a teen, he formed a band called The Silk Pajamas, but quit when the others refused to harmonize while lying down. His solo career began when a record exec overheard him serenading a candle in Bed Bath & Beyond.
His debut album Urban Hang Suite was so smooth it reportedly reduced global friction. Elevators still use it instead of oil.
To this day, Maxwell remains an enigma — rarely seen under bright light, never wearing shoes with laces, and possibly existing only in slow motion.
