Lil Lotus

3274 fans

For Lil Lotus, life has largely felt like one giant nosebleed—being drained by the people around him, solitude and his internal demons. “This whole experience has been me being drained my whole life. Now that I'm getting older, I'm trying to figure out, how do I fix these things?” 
 
That concept also informed Lil Lotus’ sophomore album aptly titled Nosebleeder, due December 1st via Epitaph Records—an album produced by Matt Malpass (Blink 182, Travis Barker, MGK, nothing,nowhere.) and Mike Pepe (Taking Back Sunday, Charlotte Sands) that traverses themes like friendship, addiction, mental health and toxic relationships.  

Lotus, born John Elias Villagran III, grew up in Texas in a Christian household where he was only able to listen to certain types of music. But after stealing an iPod from school, he was drawn deeply to the rock world—Mars Volta, Saosin, Underoath, Paramore and Linkin Park. It was those bands that inspired Lotus to start creating his own music. At 14 age, Lotus began casually jamming out with his friends before he started playing in bands like the alt-hip-hop group Boyfriendz and the post-hardcore band If I Die First. In 2016, he began focusing more on his solo work, which turned into Lil Lotus. After releasing a string of singles and EPs, Lotus shared his debut album Errør Bøy in 2021, which featured Travis Barker and lil aaron. 

Nosebleeder marks a new era for Lil Lotus. 

The title track on his forthcoming album is perhaps the centerpiece of the record, detailing the redundancy of the vicious partying experience and endless benders in LA culture. “Nosebleeder, I taste the cocaine on your tongue,” he sings over anxious guitar riffs. On the raw, Armor For Sleep-inflected “What a Time to Be Alive,” Lotus further explores the complexities of addiction and the double-edged sword of being medicated. “Sometimes it feels like, ‘Is medicine helping me, or is it just to keep me from feeling anything at all?’” “Ghost,” a metalcore screamo-tinged track that features Alexis Monroe, explores the weight of betrayal in friendships. “We just took this like, ‘You're dead to me,’ approach, but that one definitely is on the heavier side.” 

Throughout the album, Lotus digs deep into the complexities of his relationships. “Blame Me For Everything,” which features Mod Sun, tackles the frustrating feeling of not being able to do anything right in a relationship. “Loving you is social suicide / you’re a bad habit,” he says with a biting lilt over raucous drums. “It's just like if you ever felt like you can't do anything right, and you're just sitting there and you're just like, "I'm doing everything completely wrong according to you or the world or my parents," or anything, it's like just waiting until the morning for you to put all that happened today on me.” 

Similarly, in “Everything You Hate About Me,” Lotus focuses on being clouded by something negative in a relationship that ultimately detracts from seeing the positive. The chorus explodes with layers of sarcasm and resentment that have been building up: “You can add it to the list of things that you hate about me.” “There's always like two sides to each situation, and you might feel somebody's like, ‘You're doing all this wrong, you're doing all this wrong,’ but it's like, ‘I've been doing this for you, and you're just disregarding everything else that I've done for you.’”  

“How's It Feel to Feel Nothing” taps into the exhaustion of an on-and-off relationship. “It's just like, ‘How many times are we going to do this? Did we not learn the first time? We always end up here, what are we learning?’” The screamo-meets-emo “Play Dead” taps into the pettiness of trying to fend off someone who keeps pursuing you when you aren’t interested. 

“When Life Gives You Lemons” is a sassy number about an unmanageable partner and the chaos they bring to a relationship. “Halley's Comet” is a downtempo, one-sided wistful anthem about missing someone who doesn’t miss you. “I miss you, I miss you, I miss you/ I hate you, I hate you,” he seethes. 

Lotus showcases his singular storytelling skills in “She’s A Vampire” and “Missouri.” The cinematic “She's A Vampire” was penned with Twilight in mind. “I wrote it with this movie mentality of like this guy meets girl, girl's acting weird and he doesn't understand why, and she keeps dipping off to hang out with these people at night that are so important to her. She's actually meeting up with her coven to do vampire shit.” The bouncy pop-punk “Missouri” is a twist on the epithet “misery loves company” but plays off of the idea of what would happen if they got married. One of the purest moments of the record comes on “Shooting Star” which captures the experience of two people watching a rare phenomenon while on the beach.  

With Nosebleeder, Lotus hopes his experiences resonate with his listeners. “I feel like a lot of songs are just me singing universally in the hope that somebody connects to the topics.
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Top tracks

15
blame me for everything (acoustic)
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:21
Writer: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith / Composers: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith
03
Over and Over Again
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:24
01
Girl Next Door
Lil Lotus
Girl Next Door
02:37
18
shooting star (acoustic)
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
03:10
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Daniel Clermont / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Daniel Clermont
01
sober
Smrtdeath
sober
03:06
Writer: Michael Skwark - Matt Malpass - john elias villagran - Aaron Jennings / Composers: Michael Skwark - Matt Malpass - john elias villagran - Aaron Jennings
01
Think Of Me Tonight
Lil Lotus
Think Of Me Tonight
03:00
17
missouri (acoustic)
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:50
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox
16
nosebleeder (acoustic)
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:32
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen
01
blame me for everything
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:13
Writer: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith / Composers: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith
01
Romantic Disaster (feat. Chrissy Costanza)
Lil Lotus
Romantic Disaster (feat. Chrissy Costanza)
02:37
19
grab the wheel (lil uzi vert cover)
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
03:16
Writer: Symere Woods / Composers: Symere Woods - Donald Cannon - Kevin Gomringer - Tim Gomringer
01
Heart of Thorns
Jager Henry
Heart of Thorns
03:37
Composers: Jager Henry Bonham - Noah Thomas - John Elias Villagran III
07
Lips That Kill
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:34
05
THAT ONE SONG
lil aaron
YEAR OF THE DOG
03:02
Writer: LIL LOTUS - Dan Geraghty - JP Clark - lil aaron / Composers: LIL LOTUS - Dan Geraghty - JP Clark - lil aaron
04
Eighteen
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:49
04
Tonight
Magnolia Park
Halloween Mixtape
03:16
Writer: Tristan Torres - Vincent Ernst - Joshua Roberts - Jared Kay - Andrew Wade - Freddie Criales - Joe Horsham / Composers: Tristan Torres - Vincent Ernst - Joshua Roberts - Jared Kay - Andrew Wade - Freddie Criales - Joe Horsham - john villagran
04
Rooftop
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:35
01
Nothing Left
Lil Lotus
Nothing Left
02:56
Writer: john elias villagran
03
nosebleeder
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:19
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen
06
The Medicine
Left to Suffer
Leap of Death
04:43
Writer: Taylor Barber - Jacob Gordon - Peter Higgs - Christian Nowatzski - Alex Vavra - Noah Sebastian - Joakim Karlsson - Lil Lotus - Alejandro Aranda - Morgoth Beatz
08
Doctor Doctor
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:40
02
At The Top Of Your Lungs
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
02:59
04
Never Felt Better
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:45
02
how's it feel to feel nothing
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:31
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine
06
ghost
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:16
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas
07
missouri
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:50
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox
04
stockholm syndrome
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:55
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo
02
I Don't Even Like U
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:45
44
Left Alone
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:56
06
Stay
Said The Sky
Sentiment
03:43
Writer: Bryan James Sammis - Trevor Christensen / Composers: Bryan James Sammis - Trevor Christensen
04
Bad For My Health
Lil Xan
Diego
02:48
Composers: Lil Lotus - Nicholas Diego Leanos
01
If He Dies He Dies
Lil Lotus
If He Dies He Dies
03:08
Writer: john elias villagran / Composers: john elias villagran - Thomas Noah Gehringer
07
Kiss My Eyelids
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
03:19
01
Fake Love
Lil Lotus
Fake Love
02:16
05
what a time to be alive
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
03:28
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Luke Holland
01
Bodybag
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
04:43
04
Is Anybody Out There?
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
03:35
14
Barely Breathing
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:53
01
Never Get Away
Lil Lotus
Never Get Away
03:37
Writer: john elias villagran
12
Don't Fuck This Up
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
01:56
09
No Getting Over This
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:05
01
Rigor Mortis
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:59
01
When Life Gives You Lemons
Lil Lotus
When Life Gives You Lemons
02:56
Writer: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek / Composers: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek
10
halley's comet
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
03:11
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Daniel Clermont / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Daniel Clermont
06
Lonely Nights
Brooke Daye
Me & My Mania
03:07
Writer: Brooke Alexa Johnson - John Villagran / Composers: Brooke Alexa Johnson - John Villagran - Joseph Pepe - Gray Trainer
11
Why U Do Me Like This
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:30
08
millionaire
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:56
Writer: John Villagran - Matt Malpass - JP Clark - Noah Thomas - timothy meegan / Composers: John Villagran - Matt Malpass - JP Clark - Noah Thomas - timothy meegan
09
she's a vampire
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
03:09
Writer: John Villagran - Matt Marino - Matt Malpass / Composers: John Villagran - Matt Marino - Matt Malpass
28
just a memory
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:52
01
Razor
Lil Lotus
Razor
02:29
06
Feeling like shit
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:44
03
Do Better!
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
03:00
21
chemical
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
03:05
05
Butterfly K
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:38

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  • Discography
Albums
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
01-12-2023
nosebleeder
01
blame me for everything
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:13
Writer: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith / Composers: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith
02
how's it feel to feel nothing
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:31
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine
03
nosebleeder
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:19
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen
04
stockholm syndrome
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:55
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo
05
what a time to be alive
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
03:28
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Luke Holland
06
ghost
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:16
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas
07
missouri
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder
02:50
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox
Access the complete album info (14 songs)
℗ 2024 LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
01-12-2023
nosebleeder (deluxe)
01
blame me for everything
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:13
Writer: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith / Composers: Michael Pépé - John Villagran - Nick Casasanto - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Derek “Mod Sun” Smith
02
how's it feel to feel nothing
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:31
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Nick Cozine
03
nosebleeder
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:19
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - John Villagran - AJ Peacox - Brooke Alexa Johnson - Patrick Ridgen
04
stockholm syndrome
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:55
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Peter Dattolo
05
what a time to be alive
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
03:28
Writer: Matt Malpass - John Villagran / Composers: Matt Malpass - John Villagran - Luke Holland
06
ghost
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:16
Writer: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas / Composers: Michael Pépé - Joseph Pepe - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Alexis Munroe - Shane Galinas
07
missouri
Lil Lotus
nosebleeder (deluxe)
02:50
Writer: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox / Composers: Michael Pépé - Nick Casasanto - John Villagran - Matt Marino - AJ Peacox
Access the complete album info (19 songs)
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
20-08-2021
ERRØR BØY
01
Think Of Me Tonight
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
03:00
02
Romantic Disaster (feat. Chrissy Costanza)
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:37
03
Over and Over Again
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:24
04
Rooftop
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:35
05
Butterfly K
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:38
06
Girl Next Door
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:37
07
Lips That Kill
Lil Lotus
ERRØR BØY
02:34
Access the complete album info (12 songs)
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
18-03-2020
2016 - 2018
01
pretty thing
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
03:19
02
dead to me
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
03:57
03
STARZ
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:47
04
Eighteen
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:49
05
i'm trying
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:52
06
Feeling like shit
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
02:44
07
Kiss My Eyelids
Lil Lotus
2016 - 2018
03:19
Access the complete album info (44 songs)
EPs
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
28-08-2020
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
01
Razor
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
02:29
02
I'm Sorry
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
02:50
03
Do Better!
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
03:00
04
Is Anybody Out There?
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 3
03:35
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
31-07-2020
All My Little Scars, Vol. 2
01
All or Nothing
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 2
02:55
02
What U Doin Up RN
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 2
02:14
03
Me
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 2
02:42
04
Promise
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 2
03:06
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
15-05-2020
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
01
Rigor Mortis
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:59
02
I Don't Even Like U
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:45
03
Last One
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:04
04
Never Felt Better
Lil Lotus
All My Little Scars, Vol. 1
02:45
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
07-07-2017
Bodybag
01
Bodybag
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
04:43
02
At The Top Of Your Lungs
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
02:59
03
idwcu
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
03:14
04
A Place U Might Know
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
03:06
05
Gun
Lil Lotus
Bodybag
03:43
Singles
℗ 2024 Lil Lotus
18-10-2024
If He Dies He Dies
01
If He Dies He Dies
Lil Lotus
If He Dies He Dies
03:08
Writer: john elias villagran / Composers: john elias villagran - Thomas Noah Gehringer
(P) 2024 Outlast Records
22-07-2024
i dont wanna know u
01
i dont wanna know u
JordyPurp
i dont wanna know u
02:34
Composers: Jordan Mitchell - john villigran - Noah Thomas
℗ 2024 Sumerian Records
19-07-2024
Much Better (Unplugged)
01
Much Better (Unplugged)
GARZI
Much Better (Unplugged)
03:29
Writer: Christopher Garzon - Will Yip - Max Epstein - Mason Mercer - Kelen Capener - Sean Chapman / Composers: Christopher Garzon - Will Yip - Max Epstein - Mason Mercer - Kelen Capener - Sean Chapman
02
Much Better
GARZI
Much Better (Unplugged)
03:18
Writer: Will Yip - Christopher Garzon - Max Epstein - Mason Mercer - Kelen Capener - Sean Chapman / Composers: Will Yip - Christopher Garzon - Max Epstein - Mason Mercer - Kelen Capener - Sean Chapman
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
30-08-2023
Millionaire
01
Millionaire
Lil Lotus
Millionaire
02:56
Writer: john villagran / Composers: john villagran
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
13-07-2023
When Life Gives You Lemons (aldrch remix)
01
When Life Gives You Lemons (aldrch remix)
Lil Lotus
When Life Gives You Lemons (aldrch remix)
02:07
Writer: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek / Composers: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek
LiL Lotus, under exclusive license to Epitaph
22-06-2023
When Life Gives You Lemons
01
When Life Gives You Lemons
Lil Lotus
When Life Gives You Lemons
02:56
Writer: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek / Composers: john villagran - Matt Malpass - Sophie Luborsky - JP Clark - Connor Ball - Camm Hunter - Mike Gonek
Epitaph
13-04-2023
Sonny
01
Sonny
Lil Lotus
Sonny
02:45
Writer: john villagran / Composers: john villagran